The spirited lovechild of Kaylee Fry and River Tam (ladymalchav) wrote,
The spirited lovechild of Kaylee Fry and River Tam
ladymalchav

The Worst Time Ever To Go Off My Meds

It's 6:28pm and all I want to do is curl up in my bed and sleep forever. There are a million things to do and I can't be arsed to do any of them. I'm leaving for Florida on Thursday and I still don't know if I've got a ride to the airport, despite asking my sister about it TWO WEEKS AGO, reminding her every few days that she still hasn't given me an answer, and having to tell her the day and times over and over despite the fact that I include them in every message I leave. And it's not like she can just call me like a sane person. No, she has to text or message me on Facebook or whateverthefuck so we can't talk about it, we just go back and fourth until she gets distracted or something and stops answering. I've been asking her and reminding her about this for the past two weeks, and she's just today told me that no one really can do it because I 'scheduled it for the wrong day and everyone is working and I used all my sick days already.' Fine, whatever, you can't do it, I understand! BUT! You could have told me that TWO WEEKS AGO WHEN I MAYBE COULD HAVE ASKED SOMEONE ELSE OR PLANNED TO GET A TAXI OR SOMETHING. It's the not knowing that sets me the fuck off! Every time I ask her to do something for me it's the same way. That's why I didn't ask her in October when I GOT the tickets because I knew she would just say 'I don't know' or 'That's too far' or 'Why did you have to plan it so far ahead, no one knows what they're doing then!' WELL I FUCKING DO! Two weeks is even too far ahead for her to plan, it seems. Whenever she needs my help it's last second, and I need to do it NOW and 'OMG WHY ARE YOU TAKING SO LONG I TOLD YOU ABOUT IT LAST NIGHT WHY CAN'T YOU BE READY!??!!?'

I was feeling good and got out of the house today and actually got some studying done for my final tomorrow. I was feeling good and now everything just feels like shit. There's too much to be done and no time to do it in and I just feel like everything is falling down and I can't even think because I'm going through withdrawals. I don't know if anyone reading this, if anyone is reading this, if you've ever gone through withdrawals from Celexa or a drug like it, but everything just feels like it's not real and you just want to sleep and the smallest little thing feels like it's too much to handle, or like the worst thing to ever happen. I cannot deal with other people right now, they're so annoying and awful, but I just hate felling so alone and being so alone all the time and there's nothing I can do about it. I thought I was over this, I thought I was done with this. I was feeling so good today and now I just can't stop crying and I don't know WHY.
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